tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post3109172691638697813..comments2024-01-04T01:16:23.041-05:00Comments on Life After Stern College: "Droughts"SternGradhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04629199158696400120noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-20193550537745139802010-07-25T22:48:52.102-04:002010-07-25T22:48:52.102-04:00Sefardi Gal- you're very right. The first thi...Sefardi Gal- you're very right. The first thing to do in a "drought" is to look and make sure you're doing enough Hishtadlus. But once you've put in a certain amount of effort (and of course you can always be doing more) then instead blaming the "drought" on your lack of efforts there is a time and place for realizing that maybe this is what Hashem wants for you right now.SternGradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04629199158696400120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-75991308207726991362010-07-25T12:40:16.834-04:002010-07-25T12:40:16.834-04:00SternGrad, great post. As usual :)
That was truly ...SternGrad, great post. As usual :)<br />That was truly a nice amount of chizuk.<br /><br />The thing is...when one is experiencing a "drought"...there's a question if (s)he should just wait for the water to come, or if (s)he should go searching for water.<br />IE: should (s)he call more shadchanim/teachers or go to more singles events, or just wait there...thinking that the previous attempts of hishtadlut were enough?<br /><br />For example, I once told a teacher of mine that I did my hishtadlut...I called x amount of shadchanim, and they didn't get back to me. She told me that it's incumbent of every frum girl (or her mother) to call and continue to annoy them until they set you up and have you on their list of priorities.Sefardi Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03041724538794932296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-17378500181161172542010-07-16T09:02:31.585-04:002010-07-16T09:02:31.585-04:00aminspiration- I agree. I would rather not go on a...aminspiration- I agree. I would rather not go on a date then go on a pointless date.SternGradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04629199158696400120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-36243230646045387592010-07-16T07:30:48.462-04:002010-07-16T07:30:48.462-04:00Dating droughts may be hard but i would rather not...Dating droughts may be hard but i would rather not date than go out with someone who is completely inappropriate and in the end its just a waste of time. Being single definitely has its advantages and its nice to take the opportunity to do the things you could never do once you are hitched. Marriage is great and i cant wait, but until then..im enjoying everyday of my life to the fullest!aminspirationhttp://aminspiration.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-80032559850205191442010-07-16T00:09:25.954-04:002010-07-16T00:09:25.954-04:00Bookworm- trust me, unfortunately i know manyBookworm- trust me, unfortunately i know manyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-71090453228763946482010-07-15T12:41:15.106-04:002010-07-15T12:41:15.106-04:00I'm of the view that we are all meant to wed. ...I'm of the view that we are all meant to wed. But not all at the same time. But really, how many single 50 year old bachelors/spinsters do you know?Bookwormnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-54845129476055254542010-07-14T20:08:39.218-04:002010-07-14T20:08:39.218-04:00Micha- It's always great when we are able to l...Micha- It's always great when we are able to learn from frustrating situations and when they give us clarity.<br /><br />Bookworm- I love when random people give me chizzuk! Sounds like your hair stylist did a good job.<br /><br />BJG- I like the way you summed it up!! You said it perfectly and much more consisely.<br /><br />Nate- That's a tough question. I believe that everything Hashem does is for the best, even though it's hard to feel it some times. If someone never marries, then it is because Hashem decided that is best. While that might be hard to accept, the two alternative are harder to accept in my opinion. One alternative is that Hashem does not have complete control over the world, so even though He doesn't think it's best for this person to never marry, He can't do anything about it. The other alternative is to say that Hashem knows it's not best, and has control to change it, but is evil. I think we can all agree that is not the case.<br /><br />Coral- I like the way you put it- things we see as challenges are not challenges for Hashem. I hope that you never have any droughts, or at the very least that if you do, that they don't phase you in any way.SternGradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04629199158696400120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-1551451265456358182010-07-14T18:29:04.235-04:002010-07-14T18:29:04.235-04:00I haven;t been dating all that long so I can't...I haven;t been dating all that long so I can't say that I really know what drought feels like, but I did worry about dating since I was not living in The City last year. Even though I wasn't a "conveniently located" girl I did get quite a few dates. As you said, quantity is no more helpful than a security blanket, but I think it was Hashem's way of reassuring me that He has a plan and whatever I see as hinderances present no challenge to Him.<br /><br />Nate: You answered your first question with your 2nd one.Is it a satisfying answer? For those with super strong faith it is. For the rest however, we just have to accept it as truth. How many people do you actually know who never get married? Most people do get married, but maybe not as soon as they initially hoped.Coral Caphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07237034860426889146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-65332287547035240542010-07-14T14:39:12.405-04:002010-07-14T14:39:12.405-04:00What about those unfortunate souls who never marry...What about those unfortunate souls who never marry? Is that what Hashem thinks is best for them??Natenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-71237206234391495682010-07-14T14:33:35.641-04:002010-07-14T14:33:35.641-04:00My thoughts about droughts are much simpler, altho...My thoughts about droughts are much simpler, although not quite profound. Basically, they suck and hopefully they don't last too long and e/t works out for the best.BJGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17284005539217450744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-2190623817686657042010-07-14T12:41:41.274-04:002010-07-14T12:41:41.274-04:00I have been in such a drought, it's like I wal...I have been in such a drought, it's like I walked across the Sahara. <br /><br />And I pretty much had the same exact thought process as you. <br /><br />I was getting my hair cut recently, and my hair stylist asked if I was dating anyone. I said no, and he replied that it happens sooooo quickly, so no worries (Shivisi Hashem . . . )<br /><br />I left with fabulous hair and feeling good.Bookwormnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4895527034843171824.post-33752117979345948652010-07-13T23:35:48.972-04:002010-07-13T23:35:48.972-04:00This is interesting since I'm just coming out ...This is interesting since I'm just coming out of a frustrating drought after having being mismatched with a few mostly-great-but-with-key-unresolvable-differences girls. It seems that once I became cognizant of my contribution to being setup with those bad dates, and took positive action to correct, the drought suddenly ended with a few suitable matches. I learned what I really needed to specify to shadchanim, and even which shadchanim I needed to not use anymore. And I found some more suitable shadchanim. <br /><br />I learned more about what to really look for, to thereby be more effective than a TSA screener X-raying an old grandmother at the airport.Michanoreply@blogger.com