Quote of the week:
C.S. Lewis said, "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."”
I have found this to be true in shidduchim, if you subsitute the world “Friendship” for “A good date.” Sometimes I find that all a guy needs to do is make one random comment about a hobby/interest/habit/pasttime of his that I share, and I’m suddenly interested. Especially when it’s a CD that isn’t the most popular, or a book that’s not one that most people have read that I like. Forgetting for a minute about hashkafa and personality and the myriad of other technical things that I look for, I look for that feeling that there is something we share in life, that we have something in common.
It's definitely nice to have these little starter points / ice breakers that consist of some meaningful thing that the two people have in common. A proper shidduch/marriage should be very firmly based in friendship, so perhaps it's all interconnected at any rate.
ReplyDeleteso true. I once ended up spending a good part of my date having a machlokes in details of Harry Potter. Its easier to find someone interested in HP, but someone who knows it very well, not so much
ReplyDeleteIt's a win-win, really. Sometimes you're on a date and can tell it will go nowhere, but if you find some light, fluffy topic that can be discussed cheerfully it really can salvage the evening with no hard feelings.
ReplyDeleteI've had worse dates than spending the time dissecting "Lost" or analyzing the evolution of Batman.
Nice ppost thanks for sharing
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