No matter what your shidduch dilemma is, there seems to be someone who can come up with a story to prove why it’s possible that you and your date will end up married. We have all heard these types of stories with happy endings. Here are some examples:
“I know a couple who went out and he/she was not attracted to her/him at all. The shadchan somehow convinced him/her to continue dating her/him, and now they are married.”
“I know a couple who went out and then broke up. Then later on he/she realized that they missed the other person and they got back together. Now they are married.”
“I know a couple who had a terrible first date. Their personalities did not go well at all and neither wanted to continue. There was a miscommunication with a shadchan and they ended up going out again. Now they are married.”
There are many more examples that you could probably think of. In all cases, the person telling you the story will assure you because this happened to someone, it could happen to you. These types of stories also make shadchanim feel that it is Ok to push you to continue dating. Because clearly you don’t really know what you really want or what you’re really looking for.
But the bottom line is that these are just examples, and the number of times that they happen is probably a similar number to the amount of times that they don’t. How many times does a terrible first date actually predict the fact that the relationship is going nowhere? And no one wants to be the victim of a “pity second date,” even if you try your best to hide it and are successful at doing so.
What’s my point? Don’t let anyone guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s important to have mentors and people to discuss dating with and get advice from, but those people should be experienced and have your best interest at heart. They should be the ones you listen to. Don’t let others pressure you- to say yes or no. Ask for advice when you need it, but for the most part, trust yourself. Know yourself and trust yourself. And don’t let people push you around with these stories.