Solely In Black and White posed the question in this post, “How do you know if you’ve found the right one?” Maybe I'm crazy, but I have this idea stuck in my head that when I meet the right person, I'm just going to *know.* I'll have some sort of feeling of "Yup! This is him!" A feeling of “There is something right about this. This is meant to be. This is the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with.” I might not have this feeling on the first date or the second date or even the third date, but fairly early on. Perhaps it's because I am spiritual-minded, but I think if two souls are meant to be together, shouldn't they sense it in some way, on some level?
People have told me that doesn't happen like that and I shouldn't expect to feel that way. They say you don't just *know* and it's a decision you have to make. You’ll never be 100% sure and at some point you just have to take the plunge. But for some reason I have this crazy idea in my head, I suppose because I am quick to develop strong gut feelings about people. I’ve met couples from both camps- those who claim that they “just knew” and those who weren’t 100% sure. I don't think this happens to everyone, but I think it will happen to me. Some people don’t know right away, and that’s OK, just for some reason I have this idea in my head that I will know.
A teacher of mine once said that some people know they’ve met the right person faster than others, and it depends on what type of person you are. She compared it to going clothes shopping. Some girls (and guys for that matter!) are the type to walk into a store and take forever to pick out an item to try on. Once they get to the dressing room they spend forever looking at themselves in the mirror trying to decide, "Do I like it? Maybe I do. Actually, no I don't. Should I get it? I don't know. What should I do? I kind of like it, but I kind of don't. Uch, I'll just get it! No, wait, maybe not!" Those types of girls should not expect making decisions to be any different when it comes to dating. It may take them some time to figure out if it's right or not. I, however, am part of the other category of girls. I walk into a store and within 2 seconds and a quick glance I can tell you if there is any possibility of whether I'll find something I like or not. When I try on an item, it usually takes me one glance in the mirror to know if I want to buy it or not. That's just how I am. I'm a fast shopper.
Let me just clarify that this does not mean I intend to get engaged after a week or only a few dates. Just because I think I *know* pretty fast, doesn't mean that I want to necessarily want to jump into marriage that fast. Even if I *know* it's the right person, I'll still want to spend time getting to know the person before I agree to spend the whole rest of my life with them. The "I *know*" feeling isn't enough to base a big decision on, and it could be wrong. I definitely think I could have that “I *know*” feeling with someone who turns out not to be the right person. Going back to my puzzle piece theory, (that everyone has a limited number of people out there who they could marry. That number is greater than 1, but less than, say, 10) it could happen with one of those people who has the potential to be marriage material, but the circumstances aren’t right. But I still think it will happen with the right person.
Ironically, I’m posting this because I’m very open to being proven wrong. I think it would be completely OK if when I meet the right person I completely don’t know at all. I’m ready to stand up and say “Remember back when I was young and naïve and had this crazy romantic idealistic idea? Well, real life isn’t like that.” I’m ready to jump aboard the ship of those who claim such a feeling is unreal and is just a crazy dream. I’m ready to be proven wrong- I’ll be equally happy if I can proclaim, “See?! I told you I would just *know*!” or if I proclaim, “Silly me! Look how wrong I was!”
Yet, it’s one of those ideas that I have in my head. That I’m just gonna *know,* I’m just going to know.
Food for thought: How do you think you’ll know when you met the right person?