Poem: Moving on

This is a poem that I wrote a long time ago (over a year ago). It is actually not about shidduchim at all, (believe it or not) but with a number of shidduch bloggers recently announcing their engagement (Mazel Tov!! Baruch Hashem!), I read Bad4's post about "Not Catching the Wave" and it reminded me of how I was feeling at the time that I wrote this poem. Before I post this, I would like to say that I am so happy to hear of bloggers getting engaged! Sometimes I get jealous when I hear of people getting engaged, and that's natural, but usually it is a fleeting thought and then all I can think is "Baruch Hashem! Thank G-d that Hashem answered someone's Tefillot, thank G-d that everything is how it should be." They say that misery loves company, but I would much rather prefer that no one else is miserable! If something is difficult for me, then I will deal with it, but watching others go through the same difficulties just makes it worse. *Phew,* at least someone is engaged. So it wasn't me? Big deal! Better than none of us getting engaged. It will happen at the right time, and since Hashem runs the world, obviously now is not the right time, so it's a good thing I'm not engaged yet. Good thing Hashem's got it all covered.

Anyway, even though this poem is not at all about shidduchim, I am posting the poem because it is related a bit- it is about feeling left behind and the struggle to figure out how I fit in the world. Have you ever felt like the world is rushing rushing rushing and you are stuck like a statue watching it all happen around you helplessly? That's what this is about. There have been times, and I'm sure there will be times in the future, because that is life, when I have felt alone or left out. I used to think that some people never, ever feel that way because their life is perfect and they probably never felt this, but I have come to the conclusion that if those people who have never felt lonely or alone exist, they are very hard to find.

In any case, we can't help feeling the way we feel, so we might as well express it, and then post it on our blogs :) With that nice introduction, here is the poem:


Everyone’s moving, forward,
While I am here,
Everyone’s shining, brighter,
While I disappear,

The world is spinning, soaring,
While I am still,
The world has reached the top,
While I am stuck,
At the bottom of the hill.

Everyone’s talking, loudly,
While my voice is low,
Everyone’s confident, certain,
While I don’t know.

The world is going, coming,
While I am left behind,
The world is content at peace,
While I’m confused,
Cannot make up my mind.

Everyone’s trying, suceeding,
While I seem to fail,
Everyone’s leading, proudly,
While my ship won’t sail.

The world is laughing gladly,
While I start to cry,
The world receives its welcome,
While my door’s closed,
And access is denied.

Everyone’s busy, active,
While my accomplishments are few,
Everyone’s changing, transforming,
While I’m not someone new.

The world is ending, closing,
While I just sigh,
The world is driving away,
While I stand scared,
Afraid to say goodbye.