Is being single a bad thing? My first response to this would be, “Of course not, why would you even think it might be?” What prompted this question is when I notice lists of people to daven for and it says "For those who are sick," “for those who are unemployed,” and then "For those who need a shidduch." All on the same list. The first time I saw something like that I was a bit take aback. How can you compare someone who is ill and in need of a recovery or someone who is not able to put food on the table to someone who is single, who is perfectly healthy?
I’m not saying people shouldn’t daven for themselves or for singles to find a spouse, I think that davening is crucial. It just doesn’t seem it belongs on a list with categories of things that are truly terrible. Just because you’re not married doesn’t mean people have to pity you and feel bad for you.
But if being single is a good thing, then why daven to find a spouse at all? If this is what Hashem wants, why not just accept that and not daven? The truth is you could really ask that about davening in general. If Hashem always does what’s best for us, then why should we ask for anything? I’ve heard a bunch of answers, but basically Tefilla is supposed to change you, because you internalize the idea that everything comes from Hashem. It changes you and you become a different person who now deserves different things. The power of Tefilla is awesome- it’s incredible that we have the ability to do something to cause Hashem to change our lives.
Being single is good and being married is good too. Sometimes I find it difficult to find the right balance. On the one hand I do want to get married, but on the other hand I enjoy being single. It's hard to feel both at the same time: To accept the way my life is right now yet to want to be in a different stage of life. If I really truly want to get married, shouldn't I be upset that I'm single? If I'm really truly happy with my life, how can I want to change it so drastically? Obviously I am able to feel both simultaneously, but I also feel the contradiction.