One after another
Every minute
One hundred voices
Ask me why
I messed up.
I am not perfect
I make mistakes
And I am sorry
That you cannot
Forgive me for that.
Attacks
Insults
Harsh tones
Glares
Demanding
As though I’m dirt
Nothing
Nobody
Not worth being nice to.
I can’t fight
One hundred
Yelling
Voices.
But worst of all
Is that
I let these words
Get to me.
Setting off
An unbreakable chain
Of negative vibes.
Until
I despise the person who
I allow myself to become
Where is my humility?
Why do I allow one small prick
To poke such a large hole
In my ego.
I know
That I am better than that.
Even if no one else knows.
Stuck
Being that person who is not me
Stuck
Allowing
My negative mentality
To swallow me like
Invisible prison walls
Stuck
Unable to break free.
Walls Ceiling Floor Walls
Search for door, windows.
Can’t breathe
The air around me is stifling
Escape outside.
Cold air
Fresh air
Breathing, gasping, sighing.
Sky
Light
Sun
Space
Freedom.
Courage rises
Strength increases
Tension relaxes
Relief exploding
Guilt fades
Determination grows
Until the one hundred voices
Asking me why I messed up
Receive their answer
I am human and imperfect
But I will not stop striving
All of those voices
Are silent and disappear.
.
i love your poem and your blog! ive been following for a while but now i feel like i finally have the chutzpah to say something lol. i got pretty hard on myself when i messed up with my grades last semester so this gives me a tremendous amount of chizuk to remind ourselves that we are only human. keep up with the writing :)
ReplyDeletestill in stern- Thanks for commenting! Welcome to the blog. It's easy to be hard on ourselves, we sometimes have to give ourselves a break. Hope you keep reading :) Enjoy Stern while you're there...I miss it!
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