Summer tastes like peach Snapple, ice coffee, and cold Coca Cola with one thousand ice cubes. It sounds like waves rushing up against the sand and the cheers of school aged children who shout as though they have been set free. Summer smells like sunscreen, the dust from air conditioners, and like the music of an ice cream truck. It begins with the cheesecake of Shavuos and ends with the honey on Rosh Hashana. Summer feels like the warm sun beating down like a fire and a cool breeze that provides relief.
Summer feels like a break, an escape, a change. The end of one thing and the beginning of another. A time to move on. But it is not only in the summer that things change. Life is full of changes, and the start of each season is just a reminder. Change can be exciting or nerve-wracking, or both. Sometimes change sneaks up on when you don't expect it, suddenly coming at you like a baseball flying 90 miles an hour. You see it coming seconds before you have to react and figure out what to do with it and how to adapt. Sometimes you cause the change yourself. You make a choice, a decision, to step off the path you've been going down and veer slightly in a different direction. In those cases you'd think you'd be much more prepared. I mean, you have had time to think about what to do when it comes. You should be prepared. So why is it just as hard?
We, human beings, get used to things so quickly. We don’t like to change. My favorite example is how the seat you choose on the first day of class is the one you will sit in the rest of the year. The second day of class some people will move around, but that is your only chance, because on the second day of class most people will sit in the exact same spot they sat in the first day of class. So you had better watch out because you might be taking someone’s spot.
Change brings risk. What if things are not as good when they change? Maybe things are bad now, but at least we are in comfortable, safe territory. Why travel into the unknown? It is a wonder that we ever change. But yet, despite our unwillingness, we can awaken the spirit of change within ourselves. Our hope that things will be better carries us through. Our sense of adventure and our desire for something new and fresh takes over us.
At some point we all thought this unusually cold and snowy NY winter would never end, but spring briefly visited, and now it is so hot that a person can begin longing for those bitter cold days. Or at least for the spring. But we have to hold on to every minute of it because soon enough the leaves will slowly turn those pleasant autumn colors, and the next season will sneak up on us before we know it.
As I taste the flavor of my iced coffee and feel the heat on my skin, I take a deep breath and think about where my life is going and where I want it to go. I think about the choices I have and the changes ahead. And I pray for the clarity to pick the right path and the strength to make the changes that I should make, and the courage to face all of changes in my life- the good ones, the not as good ones, and the small ones, the ones I hope for, the ones that happen suddenly, and the ones for which I have long been prepared.
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Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sefirat HaOmer
It is Sefirat HaOmer again, and like every year I can tell it is going by so fast that by the time it gets to Shavuos I realize I haven’t prepared at all. Like always around this time, the topic of loving fellow Jews is on my mind. Actually that topic is frequently on my mind, not just during Sefira, but I guess that is just how I was brought up. Neither of my parents grew up Orthodox, though both grew up with a strong connection to Judaism. Because of this, though I always attended religious schools, during my childhood I found myself in non-religious or even non-Jewish environments.
This exposure really strengthened my Judaism, because when you are 10 or 11 years old and a non-Jewish kid asks you, “What does Kosher mean?” you have know the answer and know what you’re talking about. When your Reform friend comes over for shabbos and asks you questions, you need to know why you do what you do, and when your Conservative relative brings you to their synagogue, then you learn why in your shul the men and women sit separately, while in her shul they sit together. In addition, my experiences made me sensitive to the attitudes of Jews towards one another, particularly the attitudes of Orthodox Jews towards the other denominations.
Being Orthodox means believing that all of Torah (Torah shebichtav and Torah shebaal peh) are from Hashem, and this means disagreeing with Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist or other types of Jews, but disagreement does not mean that the Orthodox attitude should be anything less than “ViAhavta L’Rayacha Kamocha” towards them.
I write this because a friend recently told me a story which she prefaced as being a “funny story” that had been making the rounds. The story was about non-religious Jews who enter an Orthodox home where the family is sitting shiva. Not knowing the protocol of what to do, they notice people muttering statements to the mourners, but do not know what to say. So they approach the mourners and read the only sign they see visible, the one that lists the davening times. Apparently this is amusing, but I do not find it to be so. Since I heard this story after it had been passed through a whole chain of people, I can only hope that it has been altered and that the situation was not as bad as it sounds.
I give credit to the fact that from the report I heard no one laughed out loud, and no one informed them of their mistake in a way that would embarrass them. I also of course don’t blame the mourners, who are going through difficult times. What bothers me about the story is that there were other frum Jews in the room. Why did none of them notice a few clearly non-religious people standing around awkwardly looking for direction? Could no one have approached them and tried to explain what to do?
This is just a story, but many non-religious Jews feel that Orthodox Jews look down on them. They feel this way because many Orthodox Jews do look down on them. That pains me because the Torah attitude is not to judge others and if there is anyone who should excel at kindness in interpersonal relationships, at Mitzvot Bein Adam L’Chavero, it is those who keep Torah. Unfortunately that is not always the case. I had a teacher who said that when it comes to our relationships with people, we have to separate the Gavra and the Cheftza- the person and their actions. As frum Jews, may disagree with the actions of non-religious Jews- the fact that they do not keep shabbos or kashrus, but our attitude towards their actions does not need to be the same as our attitude towards them as people.
I don’t mean to lump all Orthodox Jews into this category, and in fact most of the Orthodox Jews I know are kind towards non-religious Jews, and I most often see religious Jews making a Kiddush Hashem with their outstanding behavior. During this time I think about how important it is to work on how we deal with other people. This skill is a different one than we are often used to working on in life. We grow up attending school, where the focus is on learning, on how much you know, on being smart, on intelligence, on getting good grades. A person can be brilliant or knowledge, a person can even know the halachos and know how to treat people right, but that does not translate into action. That is what we learn from Rabbi Akiva’s talmidim. No doubt that they were brilliant and knew a tremendous amount of Torah, more than we can fathom. But they did not treat each other right, and at the end of the day, that was important to Hashem.
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This exposure really strengthened my Judaism, because when you are 10 or 11 years old and a non-Jewish kid asks you, “What does Kosher mean?” you have know the answer and know what you’re talking about. When your Reform friend comes over for shabbos and asks you questions, you need to know why you do what you do, and when your Conservative relative brings you to their synagogue, then you learn why in your shul the men and women sit separately, while in her shul they sit together. In addition, my experiences made me sensitive to the attitudes of Jews towards one another, particularly the attitudes of Orthodox Jews towards the other denominations.
Being Orthodox means believing that all of Torah (Torah shebichtav and Torah shebaal peh) are from Hashem, and this means disagreeing with Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist or other types of Jews, but disagreement does not mean that the Orthodox attitude should be anything less than “ViAhavta L’Rayacha Kamocha” towards them.
I write this because a friend recently told me a story which she prefaced as being a “funny story” that had been making the rounds. The story was about non-religious Jews who enter an Orthodox home where the family is sitting shiva. Not knowing the protocol of what to do, they notice people muttering statements to the mourners, but do not know what to say. So they approach the mourners and read the only sign they see visible, the one that lists the davening times. Apparently this is amusing, but I do not find it to be so. Since I heard this story after it had been passed through a whole chain of people, I can only hope that it has been altered and that the situation was not as bad as it sounds.
I give credit to the fact that from the report I heard no one laughed out loud, and no one informed them of their mistake in a way that would embarrass them. I also of course don’t blame the mourners, who are going through difficult times. What bothers me about the story is that there were other frum Jews in the room. Why did none of them notice a few clearly non-religious people standing around awkwardly looking for direction? Could no one have approached them and tried to explain what to do?
This is just a story, but many non-religious Jews feel that Orthodox Jews look down on them. They feel this way because many Orthodox Jews do look down on them. That pains me because the Torah attitude is not to judge others and if there is anyone who should excel at kindness in interpersonal relationships, at Mitzvot Bein Adam L’Chavero, it is those who keep Torah. Unfortunately that is not always the case. I had a teacher who said that when it comes to our relationships with people, we have to separate the Gavra and the Cheftza- the person and their actions. As frum Jews, may disagree with the actions of non-religious Jews- the fact that they do not keep shabbos or kashrus, but our attitude towards their actions does not need to be the same as our attitude towards them as people.
I don’t mean to lump all Orthodox Jews into this category, and in fact most of the Orthodox Jews I know are kind towards non-religious Jews, and I most often see religious Jews making a Kiddush Hashem with their outstanding behavior. During this time I think about how important it is to work on how we deal with other people. This skill is a different one than we are often used to working on in life. We grow up attending school, where the focus is on learning, on how much you know, on being smart, on intelligence, on getting good grades. A person can be brilliant or knowledge, a person can even know the halachos and know how to treat people right, but that does not translate into action. That is what we learn from Rabbi Akiva’s talmidim. No doubt that they were brilliant and knew a tremendous amount of Torah, more than we can fathom. But they did not treat each other right, and at the end of the day, that was important to Hashem.
___
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Goodbye 2010
As 2011 approaches, it seems like a good time to take a glimpse back at 2010 and think about this past year, and think about what I hope to accomplish next year. The end of 2010 was good for me, but unfortunately the beginning was not quite as great. Though that is sad, I would much prefer it being that way than the other way around. I'd rather have a year that started off bad as long as it ended up good, rather than have a year that started off good and ended up bad. 2010 started off on a pretty bad note for me, as January/February time things were not going so great in my life in general. Part of the reason I started this blog was to explore a different outlet for expressing my thoughts, and it has turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be. I was pretty lost and confused and was generally unhappy and worst of all felt powerless to change things. However, Hashem is in charge of the world, and though things seemed pretty hopeless back in January, I am luckily able to look back now and see how things were for the best and how slowly but surely the year turned around. Sometimes you just never know why things aren't going the way you want them to, but sometimes if you are fortunate then retrospect lets you see things you couldn't see when you were in the moment.
Despite my bad start to the year, my life started to get a little better in April and May. In retrospect June was pretty much the beginning of when things started to get better, but at the time, during June and July, I wasn't quite sure if things were getting better or worse. The last few months of 2010 were much better and have been Baruch Hashem going really well. One major thing I learned from this year is that there are things you can and there are things you can't control. Even if you can't control other things, you can control your mentality and you can choose to be happy, but this isn't as easy as it sounds. I used to think that if I was in a bad mood, all I need to do is tell myself to snap out of it, and I'm good to go. Sometimes this works, but sometimes it takes a lot more patience and effort and a lot of trying and failing to get there.
Another thing I learned in 2010 is that bad situations can always get better. Sometimes I just didn't see how it could ever get better, but that's because I was looking for a fast immediate solution. Change is slow and takes a long time. Just because you don't see it coming, doesn't mean that it's not on its way.
My hope for 2011 is to hold on to this lesson, that some things I can control and some things I can't. To keep letting go and not worrying about the things that I can't control, and taking the right steps to take advantage of the things that I can control. My hope is not only to hold on to this lesson, but to learn new lessons as well. I hope 2011 teaches me new things, that I grow as a person, and that I meet each challenge successfully. I hope that 2011 continues in the pattern of 2010 of getting better and better.
I wish you all a happy and a healthy 2011!
.
Despite my bad start to the year, my life started to get a little better in April and May. In retrospect June was pretty much the beginning of when things started to get better, but at the time, during June and July, I wasn't quite sure if things were getting better or worse. The last few months of 2010 were much better and have been Baruch Hashem going really well. One major thing I learned from this year is that there are things you can and there are things you can't control. Even if you can't control other things, you can control your mentality and you can choose to be happy, but this isn't as easy as it sounds. I used to think that if I was in a bad mood, all I need to do is tell myself to snap out of it, and I'm good to go. Sometimes this works, but sometimes it takes a lot more patience and effort and a lot of trying and failing to get there.
Another thing I learned in 2010 is that bad situations can always get better. Sometimes I just didn't see how it could ever get better, but that's because I was looking for a fast immediate solution. Change is slow and takes a long time. Just because you don't see it coming, doesn't mean that it's not on its way.
My hope for 2011 is to hold on to this lesson, that some things I can control and some things I can't. To keep letting go and not worrying about the things that I can't control, and taking the right steps to take advantage of the things that I can control. My hope is not only to hold on to this lesson, but to learn new lessons as well. I hope 2011 teaches me new things, that I grow as a person, and that I meet each challenge successfully. I hope that 2011 continues in the pattern of 2010 of getting better and better.
I wish you all a happy and a healthy 2011!
.
Monday, December 27, 2010
I love snow
Snow is magical.
Snow is beautiful.
Snow is wonderful and simply amazing.
Snow makes me believe that anything is possible and that good things can happen.
Snow reminds me that even small steps make a difference, because snowstorms start off with a snowflake, then flurries, and slowly but surely it all adds up.
Snow encourages me to be unique, as no two snow flakes are identical.
Snow is the light that brightens up the dark winter days when the sun rises late and sets early.
Snow is the white sign of purity that I look for when cold days are dreary.
Snow teaches me that if I must fall from the sky, at least I should dance joyfully while I do it, letting the wind carry me to wherever I’m supposed to go.
Snow moves me to be creative, making snowmen, snowballs, and snow angels.
Snow strengthens my resolve to fight obstacles, as each step I take over the mountains of unplowed snow is a challenge.
Snow makes me thankful for moments of sipping hot chocolate under a warm cozy blanket in a nicely heated room.
Snow inspires me to be in awe of Hashem who created precipitation that can bury cars, stop all traffic, and give children a chance to have fun.
Snow gives me something to hope for, something to sing about, something to smile about.
.
Snow is beautiful.
Snow is wonderful and simply amazing.
Snow makes me believe that anything is possible and that good things can happen.
Snow reminds me that even small steps make a difference, because snowstorms start off with a snowflake, then flurries, and slowly but surely it all adds up.
Snow encourages me to be unique, as no two snow flakes are identical.
Snow is the light that brightens up the dark winter days when the sun rises late and sets early.
Snow is the white sign of purity that I look for when cold days are dreary.
Snow teaches me that if I must fall from the sky, at least I should dance joyfully while I do it, letting the wind carry me to wherever I’m supposed to go.
Snow moves me to be creative, making snowmen, snowballs, and snow angels.
Snow strengthens my resolve to fight obstacles, as each step I take over the mountains of unplowed snow is a challenge.
Snow makes me thankful for moments of sipping hot chocolate under a warm cozy blanket in a nicely heated room.
Snow inspires me to be in awe of Hashem who created precipitation that can bury cars, stop all traffic, and give children a chance to have fun.
Snow gives me something to hope for, something to sing about, something to smile about.
.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Changing Leaves
I was walking outside and started smiling as I noticed that the leaves are changing colors. I love autumn, perhaps because it is because the season with my birthday (and a number of other bloggers as well!), and perhaps because I enjoy the weather when it is cool, but not yet too cold, but also because fall is a time of change. I always love to watch the trees and the leaves starting at the end of the summer, as they turn beautiful different colors, from green to yellow to red to brown. Some of my best times for reflection when I was younger were those rainy days after school had just started, when I would sit staring out of my window, watching the rain drops hit the puddles in the street, and watching the rushing water full of colorful leaves. The leaves turning colors is just one sign for me that the end of summer and beginning of fall is associated with change. The end of camp, the beginning of a new school year, transition from one part of life to the next.
Recently I was talking about some event that will be happening in June, which seems so far away right now, and the first thought that entered my mind was, “Wow, I sincerely hope that my life is significantly different in that point in time in every way.” This gut reaction shocked me and I wondered, “Am I that unhappy with my life that I want to change it so badly?” I mean, I know things aren’t perfect- you can always find something to complain about if you try, but until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I wanted things to change. But does that necessarily mean that I am not happy with how things are right now? Life changes all the time whether we like it or not, so wouldn’t it be best to welcome the change gladly instead of fighting it?
Sometimes it is difficult to find the right balance of being happy with the with the status quo, the way things are now, and yet at the same time longing for something even better, wanting things to be different. If everything was just great all the time, there would be no force moving us forward. The dream that things could be better is often was pushes us to spring to action and accomplish. The key is feeling both satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time; happy enough not to wallow in misery all day long, yet feeling as though something is lacking and striving to change the situation.
They say Shlomo HaMelech had a ring that said “Gam Zeh Yaavor.” This too will pass. That message is important to remember both when things are good and when they are not as good. When things are not so great, it is good to know that this time will pass and that things will get better. When things are going well, it is helpful to keep in mind that things will change eventually so we should take advantage and enjoy every minute of the good times we are in. To me, autumn is the essence of Gam Zeh Yaavor, of transition from one part of life to the next.
Recently I was talking about some event that will be happening in June, which seems so far away right now, and the first thought that entered my mind was, “Wow, I sincerely hope that my life is significantly different in that point in time in every way.” This gut reaction shocked me and I wondered, “Am I that unhappy with my life that I want to change it so badly?” I mean, I know things aren’t perfect- you can always find something to complain about if you try, but until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I wanted things to change. But does that necessarily mean that I am not happy with how things are right now? Life changes all the time whether we like it or not, so wouldn’t it be best to welcome the change gladly instead of fighting it?
Sometimes it is difficult to find the right balance of being happy with the with the status quo, the way things are now, and yet at the same time longing for something even better, wanting things to be different. If everything was just great all the time, there would be no force moving us forward. The dream that things could be better is often was pushes us to spring to action and accomplish. The key is feeling both satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time; happy enough not to wallow in misery all day long, yet feeling as though something is lacking and striving to change the situation.
They say Shlomo HaMelech had a ring that said “Gam Zeh Yaavor.” This too will pass. That message is important to remember both when things are good and when they are not as good. When things are not so great, it is good to know that this time will pass and that things will get better. When things are going well, it is helpful to keep in mind that things will change eventually so we should take advantage and enjoy every minute of the good times we are in. To me, autumn is the essence of Gam Zeh Yaavor, of transition from one part of life to the next.
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