Why I love Parshat B'Shalach

All parshiot are great, though perhaps some are difficult to relate to, but every year Parshat B’Shalach really gets to me. An inspirational story with a practical lesson as well. Talk about drama and the suspense. Hashem finally took out B’nei Yisrael from Mitzrayim, they are free to go, only they find themselves facing the biggest challenge yet. I mean, don’t we find that is true in life as well? Just when think we finally got through a tough situation/time and we finally made it out, we find ourselves bombarded with the next challenge, which just seems even more impossible.

We are all so used to the story of Kriat Yam Suf, but can you just imagine what it must have felt like to be there? They are completely and utterly trapped. There is a large body of water in front of them and the Egyptians are chasing them. There is absolutely no where for them to go. For us we’re like, “Well, if you can’t go around it, go through it- go through the water. Just ask Hashem to create a path of dry land for you.” They did not have boats and it must have seemed like there was no way out. Scary thought: Wait a minute. We thought the best thing that could happen to us is to be free from slavery. Now we’re free. What if the freedom that we’ve longed for is actually worse?

New situations can be scary. Sometimes we’re afraid to leave bad situations because knowledge and familiarity is comforting, and jumping into a situation where you don’t know what’s flying can be terrifying, even if you know intellectually that it is better. There is always that fear that perhaps even though it is supposed to be better, it won’t be. So B’nei Yisrael panic for a second. Moshe urges them to hang in there and wait and see the amazing way Hashem is going to save them.

And then, just as they think it is over, that there is nowhere to turn, the naturally impossible happens. Hashem performs a miracle and they walk on dry land through the water. Though Hashem doesn’t perform miracles that defy nature today, we can still learn the lesson that even situations that seem impossible to overcome have a solution. We can always hope and always turn to Hashem.

Another reason I love this week’s parsha is because of the amazing faith of the Jewish people, particularly the Jewish women who prepared musical instruments for the time of redemption. When you’re in a bad situation, you are often stuck in a bad mindset that doesn’t allow you to think about a time when things will be better. Thinking that, “Things will get better, and to prove it, I better get ready for it,” is a great lesson as well.

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories, the origin of which I unfortunately I do not know. The story is told of a town that was suffering a lack of rainfall and the drought was so serious that it was threatening their survival. The community gathered together and prayed, they fasted, and prayed some more. Nothing seemed to be working. Finally, someone from the town approached the Rabbi and begged him to do something. The Rabbi thought for a while and told the entire community to gather together in the field to pray together for rain. Every single person, all men, women, children, gathered together outside at the appointed time. When the Rabbi shows up he looked out at the entire community and asked, “Do you believe that it is going to rain?” “Yes!” they shouted in unison. But the Rabbi asked again, “Do you really, truly, believe that it is going to rain?” Again, they all replied that they did. The Rabbi then asked a simple question, “So, nu, where are all of your umbrellas?!”

Parshat B’Shalach teaches us that Hashem can save us at any moment, no matter how desperate a situation may seem. If we really have faith that Hashem will save us, then we have to show that we are ready for it.

Have a good shabbos!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Every year as it gets closer to Thanksgiving, it seems someone will bring up the topic about whether Jews should celebrate Thanksgiving or not. It is a secular holiday on the one hand, but on the other hand, as the Rabbi of my shul points out each year, being thankful is a concept that is emphasized in Judaism. He points out that the root of the word “Yehudi,” Jew, is “LiHodot,” to thank. A big part of being Jewish is being Makir Tov, recognizing the good things that we have, the good things that others have done for us, and the good things that Hashem has given us, and being thankful.

As a side note, I would hardly call it “celebrating” Thanksgiving as the only thing it entails is eating a meal with turkey, usually with your family. Compared to various complex Jewish rituals that are part of Jewish holidays, this hardly seems like it can be called “celebrating,” but if you want to debate whether to eat turkey or not, go right ahead. I just do what my family does, and we have a traditional Thanksgiving meal with turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, the whole thing.

No matter what your minhag is, I think it is apropos to make a list for some of the many things that I am thankful to Hashem for. Hashem has given us so much good, and it is a great chance to recognize that. So, in no particular order, here are some things that I am thankful for:

• My family, both my immediate family and extended, who are kind, thoughtful, loving, and always supportive of my decisions.

• My amazing friends, who are kind, accepting, and who are there for me no matter what. The friends who make me laugh, the friends who are nearby and far away, the friends who I can have long, deep, meaningful conversations with.

• Health: This is something I tend to take for granted more than other things for some reason. It’s so easy for me to forget that it’s a miracle when everything works right. Thank you, Hashem, that I am able to see, hear, smell, move, walk, talk, and generally function well.

• Torah/Being Jewish/Faith in Hashem. Without these my life would feel empty and meaningless. Learning Torah and my relationship with Hashem bring me joy, happiness, and also help me get through the tough times. If I didn’t know that Hashem loves me and created me for a reason and is watching over me, then I would probably have a break down when things get tough.

• Tefillah. It is amazing Hashem gave us the ability to talk to Him and He answers us. The fact that we can do this is such a gift.

• Good food: Have you ever had a cold and not been able to taste food? Hashem created the world that we need to eat to survive. But He didn’t have to make food taste so good! Delicious food is a huge chessed from Hashem and I am quite thankful for yummy food!

• Shabbos. As I get older I appreciate shabbos more and more and more. I thought I appreciated shabbos in college- what a great break from studying and tests and homework! But now that I’m done with college, I find that I appreciate shabbos even more and I would not have thought that was possible!

• Vacation. Enough said.

• Clarity. Whenever I have clarity, I have to take a step back and realize how wonderful it is to not be confused and unsure. Feeling unsettled is like being in the dark, and when the light is turned on, things are absolutely beautiful.

• Running Water. What did they do before there was running water? Anytime you needed water, which is often, it was a whole process. Imagine how much harder it was to do things like, shower, go to the bathroom, laundry, washing dishes.

• Cell Phones. What did people do before cell phones? Being able to communicate with anyone anywhere anytime is definitely something I take for granted.

• Music/iPods/MP3 Players. Music has the power to uplift you like nothing else in the entire world. And iPods- because I remember the days when I had to schlep around a million CDs with me wherever I went if I wanted to listen to more than one CD.

• A perfectly timed message. Have you ever had the experience that someone said the exact right thing to you at the exact right time? You know, when you go, “Wow! I really needed to hear that right now!” I am thankful for the times that Hashem sends me messages that I need to hear, and I get the message.

• Sleep/ mornings/new days. Sleep is one of the things I am thankful for a lot. Not just because it is great to be well rested, but because without sleep we wouldn’t have a break and we’d just keep going and going without any new beginnings. Each day is a new day and a new chance and you don’t have to be who you were the day before, and you can just start new. Sleep is a chance to leave the past in the past and move on.

I am sure I am missing MANY things, and this list could go on forever. So today, on Thanksgiving, I say: Thank you, Hashem, for all of the wonderful things you have given me! Thank you.

Random Thoughts of the Week

It has been one of those weeks and my mind is swirling with tons of thoughts. Here are just a few:

1. I hope all of my friends get married before me.
Yup, seriously. Ok, maybe not all, but a good portion. Don’t be shocked yet, let me explain. Every time we hear of another engagement, certain friends confide in me that they are hit with a pang of jealousy. This is perfectly normal, as when someone else gets something you want, it’s quite easy to feel a taste of bitterness that they have it and you do not. However, I do not wish to be the cause of anyone feeling bitter. When my friends dance at my wedding I”YH, I do not want them to be constantly thinking about how they wish it was them. If they all get married first, then by the time it comes to my wedding, they will all just feel so happy for me that I finally got married. Although of course there have been times that I have felt jealous when friends got engaged and married, in general I am lucky enough not to be prone towards jealousy, and can handle it better than others.

2. Sometimes I think I have pure motives, but when I dig deeper I discover the truth.
There is a story behind this thought. I was making food for shabbos to bring to a friend’s house and as I was making it I was hoping that it would come out good, so I whispered to Hashem, “Hashem, please let this food come out yummy and delicious L’chvod Shabbos Kodesh. If it comes out good then it will bring such kavod and oneg to shabbos, please let it come out good!” After it was all done and I was thinking about it, I realized that the real reason I wanted it to come out good was so that my friends would praise my amazing cooking/baking skills and declare that it was the best thing they ever tasted. Motives are not always black and white, and I won’t go so far to say that my request to Hashem had nothing to do with Kavod Shabbos, I did really want that as well, but when I thought about it I had to be honest about the main, real reason behind what I was asking.

3. There was a very large and scary bug in my room this week. I am usually not terrible with bugs, (actually that’s not entirely true- if other people are around I shriek and make them take care of it, but when I’m all by myself I somehow magically find the courage in me to take care of it) but this was a particularly frightening one. It ran away and I sat there paralyzed with fear that it would return. I could not focus on anything and could not take my mind off of it. That’s when it hit me that this is what having a constant awareness of Hashem means. It is something I’m working on, and as I realized that no matter how hard I tried I could not take my mind away from the fact that there was a bug that might come out, I realized that is what I should strive for spiritually- a constant recognition of the reality that Hashem is watching me. In a scary way, but in a good way too. Hashem sees all of the things I do wrong, but He is also always watching over me and taking care of me.

4. Why is it so comforting to hear about girls who are older than me who get engaged, yet I feel like my heart is being crushed when I hear about girls who are younger than me getting engaged?
This thought/question does not take much explaining. I don’t know why that is, but it is, and it really bothers me. I should just be happy when I hear about anyone getting engaged, but instead, when I hear about girls older than me getting engaged I think, “Wow! There is hope! There is hope for me,” and when the girl is younger it just reminds me that I did not want to be this age and still be single. Not that this is such an awful and bad thing. Baruch Hashem I love my life, but it is just not what I wanted. Let me clarify that this does not contradict my first point. It is not jealousy, which I would describe as the "I want what you have" feeling, it is just a negative, "This is another reminder that I am lacking something."

Those were just some of my thoughts from this week; feel free to share some of yours.

TGIF

One of my favorite Psukim is from Tehillim 30:6, "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Translation from Tehilim Hotline) No matter how hard the previous day was, every day is a new day, every morning is a new chance. It's amazing how you can go to sleep so upset, but when you wake up things just magically don't seem as bad.

It's been a long week for me, hope it was better for all of you.

Made it through this week. Happy Erev Shabbos everyone! Have a great shabbos.

Kol Isha

This past shabbos I was a guest at my friend’s shabbos table, and as I sat there enjoying the meal, the host suggested that we sing zemirot. Since she is female, this was a hint to the males at the table to begin singing. All the guys present, however, were too shy to start singing. Although in the end one of them started and we all joined in, I could not help but feel slightly envious of guys, who can start singing whenever they want to without worrying about violating halacha. In some situations I am the leader type, and if it had been only females at the table, I would have had no problem starting the singing, loudly and fervently (as I often do). This is not the first time that I have been in a situation like this before.

Before I go further I feel obligated to point out that although some poskim say that women are permitted to sing together with men for davening and zemirot etc., most men (at least in my circles) would feel uncomfortable if a woman starting singing in front of them, even if it was just a zemirah for shabbos. I personally feel uncomfortable, from a halachic standpoint, singing in front of men when my voice can be audible, even if it’s just zemirot. If I’m in shul with over 100 people and everyone is singing Lecha Dodi, for example, I have no problem singing. But at a small shabbos table, I would sing along, but try to be more careful about being heard.

Starting zemirot at a shabbos table is one example of a situation where Kol Isha is difficult for me. When I say difficult, let me clarify, I don’t mean that I’m tempted to violate halacha. It’s more comparable to a situation where you’re in an amusement park on a hot summer day and you see some non-Jews eating delicious looking ice cream cone. Part of you is like, “Wow, I really want that ice cream! I’m sweating so much and it looks so cold and good!” Despite that thought, you are never even tempted to go up to the ice cream stand and ask for your favorite flavor.

Another situation in which Kol Isha is difficult is that secretly, I would love to be a chazan and lead davening. There are certain tunes in davening that I love, and instead of sitting there on the women’s side trying to send telepathic messages to the chazan of what tune I hope he’ll sing, I wish I could be the one choosing the melodies and putting my heart into every syllable. But Kol Isha isn’t the only halacha stopping me from that. But I’m OK with the fact that I will never be able to lead davening. It would not be Tznius for one thing, and singing in front of so many people would be way too intimidating for me anyway.


Luckily most of the time Kol Isha is not a problem at all, and I find appropriate means to channel my love of singing. The bottom line is that almost everything in life has pros and cons and the positive aspects of keeping Kol Isha outweigh the negative ones.